Sunday, August 8, 2010

Bahamian Melting Pot

Coral Beach Hotel's pool and beach: this is where we live!!!!
We have now been in the Bahamas for a week and still cannot believe that this is where we will be spending the next 4 months. The beaches are beautiful and the seafood is delicious. Our condo is very nice and well equipped with almost anything you can think of: Blender? Oh yes. Potato masher? Check. Grill tools? We've got 'em. Needless to say, we are loving it!!!

The people here are incredibly nice and we are finding that the Bahamian "laid back attitude" which we've heard so much about is certainly true. Yesterday, Charlie met an older man from New Jersey who retires here with his wife. He spends three weeks here every few months. He told Charlie, "After a while the Bahamian lifestyle starts to get to you. It's so laid back that I can hardly make myself get out of bed in the morning after a few weeks." Did we mention that this man was sporting a ponytail? Awesome.

We are finding it to be surprisingly international around here. I thought we would meet Americans, Bahamians, and Canadians (our condo owners are Canadian and told us that many Canadian families vacation here). Wrong! On our beach, the languages abound. This week, there were two Italian families, one from Milan. Skimpy bikinis and thong bathing suit bottoms, even on 60 year old women were the defining characteristics of these Italians. We have also decided (but not confirmed) that there are also many South Americans, plus Dutch and Portuguese speaking beach combers. Our methods for determining these languages and nationalities are quite advanced. "Hmmmm. That is so not English. I know French, and it's not French. [Insert confused eavesdropping to unknown language.] Wait, that was a French word. Was it French? [More eavesdropping.] They speak too fast!!!! No, no, it's not French, it's too throaty. Charlie, is it Spanish? Italian? I know, it must be Portuguese. She kind of looks like Michelle's cousins from Brazil. They're Brazilian!!!!!

We think there are some Dutch families here, too. Here is how we know:

We walk for a little while down the beach to an interestingly touristy resort (and by that I mean sickeningly tacky -- we're talking pools with water slides and fake aqueducts, hair braiding huts and other nightmares). I see a cute looking mother and child; the mother looks American and is nicely dressed in a beachy tunic, and the boy, 6 or so, is tanned, wearing a cute little kid suit and riding a boogie board. The next thing we know, he is throwing a foreign tantrum. "This is awesome," I whisper to Charlie, "a foreign tantrum." For some reason I live under the false impression that American children are brats, and foreign children are world and well-behaved.
Wrong. The tantrum goes like this:

Mom: Vlacken Schon Recht Liken Schen Srodin Vran!

Mom: Shchlacken Frien Meachin Jakech Reaich Schneidel Veaich Griche!!!


Apparently there is no word in the ____ language for surfboard.* And actually, it is a boogieboard. But the tantrum was awesome. I replay it for Charlie each time we see a "surfboard." Lucky Charlie.
(*If you are a moron like me, you can insert Dutch in the blank.)

The reason why I think everyone is Dutch is because there was a nice man who boarded the plane to the Bahamas right behind us and he was from the Netherlands. If anyone speaks a language that I cannot identify or has even one blond hair, I decide they are Dutch.

This week I plan on scientifically identifying a dozen more languages. I will keep you posted.


  1. That was the funniest post! It just makes me miss you more.

  2. Thanks Kyle!!!! I miss you, too!!!